A weekend at a progressive retreat

So this weekend I did something I would never normally sign up for. A weekend retreat with a mere 3000 people. Being completely honest I actually didn’t sign up for it, my husband did, and up to days before the flight I wasn’t sure I would go. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of a restorative break with an intimate group of people, beautiful surroundings and nourishing food would definitely float my boat. Amplify this by 300%, throw in dancing, whopping, clapping, weeping, wailing, and the occasional scream, not so much. All things which in the right context I might enjoy but when bundled together under the guise of communal healing send me running for the hills. And yet here I am, fresh from 48 hours of intensive transformation, on the other side of what can only be described as an enlightening experience.

Enlightening in every way imaginable.
For the diversity of people; young, old, healthy, unwell, from all corners of the globe (88 countries in total).

For the types of people; ranging from the stereotypical happy-clappy, hippy-types and wellness warriors I expected to encounter, to high performing professionals, and everyone in between, many of whom I might not have expected to see there (perhaps more sceptical types like me).

For the teachings. I was a good student and had done by retreat preparation; an online course and two preparatory meditation sessions. I was primed to receive much of the same. And I was pleasantly surprised by much of what was shared; concepts made clearer, explanations backed up by science, graphical representation’s and guided discussions between ‘geniuses’, the name given to us attendees. And then there were the parts that my brain couldn’t assimilate. Comprehend yes. Believe? Not so easily. No doubt my inner genius needs more work to arrive at the same level of conviction as the resident devotees.

For the meditation. I’d been dreading having to meditate en masse. Sitting in a seat (not a yoga mat or blanket in sight). Surrounded by strangers, and all the sounds and smells that would inevitably accompany them. I’m easily distracted. How would this even work? But work it did. I surprised myself by remaining present. I banished my body from fidgeting. My brain focused on the voice leading us until… a woman wept and another screamed out loud. That through me off my game. Keep it down ladies! Suddenly I was less sure of my mastery of meditation. Why wasn’t I feeling what they were? Or was my logical mind simply not ready to relinquish all control publicly?

For the atmosphere. At times electric. Always upbeat. “Do you promise to give your best?” Orchestrated by an army of staff employed to raise the mood and set us dancing on their signal.

For the dedication and infatiguable delivery over the two and a half days. The information overload was relentless. Yet well paced, continuously repeated to ensure that “neurons that fire together, wire together”.

Did I enjoy myself? I did. Did I come away anointed with a new lust to change my perceptions, my attitudes, my beliefs, my emotions, my feelings and thus my personal reality? I did. Did I believe in the process? I did, and do. The process being meditation with a large side of neuro linguistic programming which, I forgot to mention, I’m already well-versed in having an advanced practitioner qualification.

So why did I need a retreat to enable me to do what in-part I already know?

That part remains a mystery.
Perhaps it takes a weekend outside of my comfort zone to trigger enough energy for action. After all, as I have had reaffirmed all weekend “where you place your attention, is where you place your energy”.

Until the next retreat.